Posts tagged sex tapes
VMI 4.03 Keep Calm and Party On

• Daniel Maloof’s having a shit one. He is being blackmailed because he was videoed masturbating to a cam girl. He’s still being accused of murder by Penn all over the TV. He is kidnapped, strung up, stoned and dickpunched by the Carrs. Then he is rescued by Alonzo and Dodie, who are going to kill him - but Daniel turns the tables! And the other side is also really shitty.
• Sea Sprite Bombing Suspect of the Week is Matty’s pick: mole-having gum vending machine-filling Perry, who blows himself up when the police come for him.
• But Veronica doesn’t buy that he’s a culprit, and with another bomb going off at the end of the episode, the mystery continues. Unsurprisingly.
• More surprising is that Veronica actually has some fun! She gets to try on Nicole’s punching gloves, drop some E, dance dance dance - then puke puke puke the next morning.
• Keith’s also having fun - he and Clyde bond over golf!
• And Penn and his group of Murderheads are, unfortunately, still in our lives, dredging up Lilly Kane’s murder, advancing some wild theories about the Sea Sprite bomber - but one does give Veronica the link between the bombing and El Despiadado.

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VMI 3.20 The Bitch Is Back

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • As we know, sex people never prosper in this show, and Piz is bruised from Logan’s attack and Veronica is humiliated - and ready for revenge.

  • Veronica’s search for the sex tape culprit takes her from Piz to Logan to Dick to Chip to some other asshole Dominick to some other other asshole Gory to the secret society The Castle to JAKE KANE!?!?!

  • Of course, to cap a season that began with the Stanford Prison Experiment, we get the Milgram Experiment; and, unfortunately, it is performed on Wallace as he helps Veronica investigate the Castle.

  • Veronica breaks into what turns out to be Jake Kane’s new lonely bachelor mansion, steals his hard drive, but leaves a shred of her sweater snagged on the doggy door she shimmied in through, and is caught on the neighbour’s security tapes.

  • Keith destroys the security footage of Veronica - and maybe also his chances of winning the sheriff election. Did he win?? Find out next epi- oh but then the show was dormant for seven years.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 20: The Bitch Is Back, and consider such mysteries as how this show, even in its last moments pre-cancellation, finds ways to introduce new awful white boys, each more revolting than the last; how many supercomputers this college contains; and whether Jake Kane painted the big terrifying portraits of his children himself.

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VMI 2.19 Nevermind the Buttocks

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry! Who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car…

  • ...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick! To run his errands, such as:
    i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad;
    ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more drug money;
    iii. Mooning Gia Goodman;
    iv. And being in league with Kendall Casablancas, who has a criminal record, a secret house, AND an identity she stole off a girl who died in car crash?!

  • Oh and just in case you thought the Lilly Kane murder case was solved last season, here it is again, as Aaron’s Oscar has been dug up from the Kane garden, with Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s hair on it!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 19: Nevermind The Buttocks, and consider mysteries such as whether any of the Duncans are sexpeople, how you’d get a long-dead person’s blood onto a burned-up Oscar statuette, what Keith Mars’s Power Dad training regimen involves, and Jenny’s new feature Accidental Porn Dialogue in Veronica Mars.

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VMI 2.10 One Angry Veronica

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • OMG, Meg gives birth to Duncan’s baby and then DIES.

  • And Wallace comes back from Chicago!

  • But that’s all in the last couple of minutes of the show!

  • Before that, we’ve got Veronica doing jury duty and ruining everyone else’s holidays in her pursuit of The Truth…

  • The sex tapes that implicate Aaron Echolls in Lilly Kane’s murder have been stolen from the evidence locker, and TWO of Veronica’s ex-boyfriends are involved…

  • And Lamb is shirtless and sweaty and loving himself, merrrry Christmas everyone.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 10: One Angry Veronica, and play judge and jury on such mysteries as the likelihood of Neptune being universally ridiculed as ‘Bozoville’, whether $50,000 is a high enough price for wrecking your whole career and a murder trial, why the Marses are so bad at not compromising evidence or tainting juries, and whether shirtless sweaty Lamb is hot or not.

Content note: Vero

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Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 1

Here is a bonus episode investigating unsolved mysteries from Veronica Mars season 1, such as the prudence of hiding stuff in air vents, how long Lilly and Aaron had been involved and whether Lynn know about it, the appropriateness of having the hots for someone as often awful as Logan, whether Veronica speak Spanish well or not at all, when ARE Veronica and Leo’s birthdays, and whether the sanitary vending machine in Veronica’s toilet office actually vends.

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VMI 1.22 Leave It To Beaver

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

So! Much! Stuff! Happened!
Secret tapes! 
Of Lilly! 
And! 
Aaron Echolls! 
Scary! 
Car crash! 
Fridge fire! 
Save Marses! 
Yay, Backup!
Logan! Peril! 
Sheriff Lamb’s soul patch! 
And! 
Also! 
Lianne Mars! 
Suuuucks!

Join Jenny Owen YoungsHelen Zaltzman and special guest Hrishikesh Hirway to investigate Veronica Mars Season 1 Episode 22: Leave It To Beaver, and try to solve such mysteries as how/why people just keep APPEARING FROM BEHIND THINGS in this episode, how you hire a contractor to fit your sex hut with a hidden camera system, who’s that watching Keith Mars running around on fire, whether Duncan understands what Garfield is about, and what happened to Logan and Weevil’s detention romance.

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Season 1, special guest, audioVMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, PCHers, Jake Kane, Kyle Secor, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, murder, tapes, secrets, secret tapes, sex tapes, fire, arson, fridges, Backup, car crash, fighting, fights, Keith Mars to the rescue, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, rewards, theft, cheques, checks, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Steve Rankin, Lloyd Blankenship, Cheyenne, sex workers, Abel Koontz, newspapers, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Beaver, DNA tests, DNA results, paternity tests, onions, chopping onions, music, food, nice Chianti, parents, family, families, parenting, disguises, servers, cater waiters, Republicans, parties, another grim dinner at the Kane house, alcoholism, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, voices, Cliff's voice, lawsuits, suing, Kane fortune, print media, props, eavesdropping, eavesdroppers, appearing behind things, CSS, toilet office, breakups, breaking up, Keithlicia, jackets, set dressing, waterproof Santa, Garfield, lighting, Leave It To Beaver, alibis, red herrings, Garbage, Bad Boyfriend, shit, linguistics, gay for Weevil, Leo D'Amato, Barry Randall, soul patch, facial hair, Deputy Sacks, the one phone call, hiding places, Marses in disguise, crab puffs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnie, doors, traumacoaster, Spice Girls, Wannabe, video, sex hut, curtains, LeBaron, Veronica's car, Joan of Arc, walkie talkies, plastic horse, killing, goofs, stunt doubles, Lil Kim, Blankenship